Of parenting, adolescents, and monitoring social media

I came across a very disturbing video on the Internet. It's about a man who discovers his teenage daughter has been posting incredibly insulting comments about him on Facebook.

First, Dad makes a video of himself explaining in detail how he found the offending information on his daughter's page. Then he proceeds to insult her extensively, calling her an ingrate and saying he's going to post this video on Facebook for the world to bear witness. Then he proceeds to destroy her computer in a very violent way.

Bone chilling. You can find the video here.

One of the reasons why adolescence is one of the most perilous periods in human development is because the brain has not fully developed. The part of the brain that precisely needs to form is the one that allows us to foresee the consequences of our actions. It's the time when young people do really stupid things -- like posting really offensive comments about their relatives on Facebook -- without thinking how is that going to play out in the future. How that's going to really hurt Mom, Dad and Auntie; and how perhaps it's not a good idea to post it to begin with.

It's a modern-day dilemma that I consider dangerous. In the old days  if you wanted to badmouth your teacher or your former best friend, you wrote a note in class and passed it to your new best friend, or you whispered in her ear. Now, you post it on Facebook or Twitter for the world to see.

What's worse is that, precisely because of the lack of brain development, young people believe they're so clever, so much smarter than their parents, teachers, tíos, etc, and therefore safe from scrutiny.

They're not. None of us is.

There are so many examples of how social media is getting young people in trouble, namely for posting inappropriate photos, comments, etc., things they should learn early on they're a bad idea to do. No, it's not OK to rant against ANYBODY on social media. No, it's not OK to threaten somebody and think you're going to get away with it.

Just this week, a Texas teenager was jailed because of a sarcastic comment he posted on Facebook in which he said he was going to go "shoot up a school full of kids and eat their still, beating hearts." You can read more about it here.

Justin Carter then wrote 'LOL' and 'JK' online acronyms for "Laughigh out loud," and "Just Kidding."

Apparently, the woman who reported him to the police did not share his sense of humor. 

And that's the problem. Young minds are still too immature to realize social media is not their "private" bubble, whether or not they've allowed you to "friend" them. Parents now have the added responsibility of turning their children into responsible citizens AND cybercitizens.

But not by force, for crying out loud.

That's where I found fault in the Dad making the terribly hurtful video of how he destroys his daughter's computer. Children at this age have limited planning capacity, so we need to help them in that arena. We need to be their pre-frontal cortex. How would you like them to treat you if their brain was fully functioning?

Do not lash out at them. Go to your room, take a deep breath, and show them by example, not by revenge.

And insist upon them Facebook is not private. No electronic media is.